this is how it is. my story. part 1

So this is my life right now. It's kind of long and pretty personal, so it may not fit in one post. But it may be time for me to share...

By the numbers, it has been:

12 years since I married my high school sweetheart.
10 years since we found out I was pregnant.
9 years since we had our little bug, Seth.
5 years since we stopped using birth control and started trying for another little bug.
3.5 years since we started undergoing tests with my ob/gyn
1 year since I first started seeing a fertility specialist.

In this past year, I have had:

1 surgery 2 surgeries to remove endometriosis
3 months of Clomid pills
1 trip to the ER for a pelvic infection
6 months of hormone injections, including
3 months of cancelled cycles due to unsatisfactory scans/labwork/scheduling

6 failed IUI's (intrauterine insemination - think...ummm...
5 failed natural cycles (you know, the 'old-fashioned' way)

countless blood draws
and
dozens of ultrasounds - internal, of course, to get the best view of the ol' ovaries (yep, those stirrups and I are very well acquainted)

That's a rough summary, I suppose. How did we get here? How do I feel about it? What comes next? Well, those are posts for another time, and hopefully they're things I can share in the future...

It's been a long road so far, and the journey - while not one I would have chosen - has taught me a lot about myself and life in general. While I had hoped to be able to end this kind of story with a "this is what we've been through, but now we're expecting" we just aren't there yet. And while I can hope and pray, I don't yet know where this road will take us... So, for now -

This is how it is. My story.